Report on Feast Incarnate, Submitted to the Lutheran AIDS Network (LANET) Gathering in April 2003 in San Diego, CA

Feast Incarnate, a weekly hospitality ministry of University Lutheran Church of the Incarnation in Philadelphia, PA, was begun in November of 1988. It was a direct response to the situation of two members of the parish at that time, who had been diagnosed with HIV, and who had been rejected by friends, families and partners. The evening was planned as a safe environment, free from prejudice and discrimination. An invitation was issued to the HIV/AIDS community to come and share an evening of food and fellowship.

The first meal was served to eight guests by ten volunteers from our church community. Flowers and candles graced the tables set with china and silverware. The first menu was planned by a professional chef. While the food was acclaimed by all as wonderful, the more important aspect of the evening was the fellowship. Those who served sat down with the guests to eat. Two communities began to become one that evening, and those who had been isolated from spiritual homes found a place where they could be accepted and loved as they were. In the November 1988 Eyewitness (The University Lutheran Newsletter), volunteer Jan Johnson wrote:

"We began to learn how to create an atmosphere where folks could simply ‘hang out’, share a meal together, talk with each other and escape from a busy and exhausting world. After we served the meal (cooked by a fantastic volunteer cook), we were invited to sit down to a delicious meal and talk with our guests.

With each passing Tuesday we are all getting to know each other better. This is a growing atmosphere of support and acceptance. The Tuesday evening meals strengthen the bonds of community.

There is a lot of preparation for each meal. In the morning, food for about forty people must be bought. Our chef and companions arrive at 4:30pm to begin preparing the food. At 5:30 volunteers arrive to set the tables. The meal is served at 6:30. The guests usually stay around until about 8:00. In the mean time, chatting with folks and cleaning up. The last volunteers leave about 9:00pm.

The volunteers are made up of people from the community and those who are friends and members from church. Everyone works hard and is very willing to pitch in and help where needed.

The meal on Tuesdays breaks down the barriers of fear and distrust and builds upon an atmosphere of Grace. There is much to learn about the affect of AIDS in the life of individuals and their loved ones. In the context of community we are struggling in our efforts to be more effective in the fight against AIDS. We have a long way to go in order to educate people about AIDS and dispel the myths and fears. (i)

At the same time that University Lutheran was hosting an evening at the church, other members organized delivery of prepared meals to housebound persons with HIV/AIDS.

Within a year, outside organizations were beginning to participate in the evening. Clubs and service organizations were taking on part of the serving/clean-up responsibilities. At times, there was more help than was needed. Regular helpers and "occasional helpers" worked together. In 1989, again in the Eyewitness, a column written jointly by a life-long member of the parish and a fourth-year U of Penn student wrote, in an article titled "Whom does it serve?" not only about Feast, but also another evening meal served to the homeless community:

"Sometimes many occasional helpers come on the same night…On those nights, some people feel they are not needed or useful. It seems that all the jobs are taken, and there is hardly a place to stand among the legions of guests and volunteers. This feeling can be especially disquieting for those who have come for the first time not knowing what to expect or for those whose regular service has become a time of rest and meditation."

"Regular helpers sustain a meal and provide an opportunity for occasional helpers to learn and serve. There are many times when they must work late without the aid of occasional helper. Occasional helpers grow in their understanding of human need and rejuvenate the meal community.

It is important to remember that our service is a response to God’s grace and a fulfillment of our love for each other.

There are times…when a person can become tired and feel burdened. Those with whom they interact seem to appreciate neither them nor the work they do. Tempers can shorten. Feelings can be hurt. Anger and frustration can grow at least as well as the mustard seed of faith.

At times like these we must remember that our service is a response to God’s grace. We do not serve others because they are particularly loveable, or because we expect gratitude. Indeed we may find the individuals we serve to be selfish, argumentative, angry, or unapproachable. Poverty, homophobia and other forms of oppression often blind an individual’s ability to reach out in a ‘comfortable" way. We do not serve others because they are ‘deserving’, but because they need service. We serve each other because we remember the love that God has shown to us"

"The need to care for others is urgent. Each day more people are born into a world that seems to offer even less hope. God has blessed us richly , giving us many senses and abilities. Not to use these abilities in the service to others is to starve ourselves of spiritual food. We must use these gifts to encourage each other and comfort our neighbors in their distress. …the sharing of food in God’s name helps us to see ways in which our talents can be used- perhaps in new ways that we have not experienced before. Then we will find rest, having used our talents wisely and enjoyed our work under the sun. We rest in the grace and mercy of God. This is the best we can ever do."(ii)

It was about this time that a partner agency, We the People, became involved with the meal. We the People was a coalition formed by and for people living with AIDS/HIV in the Delaware Valley in 1987. Their involvement brought the power of knowledge into the picture: knowledge of services, support, counseling, and most importantly, prevention. They were a vehicle for funds from the AIDS Activities Coordinating Office and the Philadelphia AIDS Consortium. WTP handled reservations for the dinner, which by September, 1990 had grown to 60 people. Each person attending was allowed to bring one guest "…to enjoy a delicious and nutritious meal in an atmosphere of fellowship and mutual support."(iii)  A second evening meal was also added at that time, held at the nearby St. Marys Episcopal Church.

University Lutheran had also begun to solicit participation from other Lutheran parishes, offering opportunities to contribute service or funds. In an appeal to raise funds to purchase and install a commercial grade dishwasher to sterilize the dishes for the protection of the health of Feast guests, then pastor Jeffery Merkel wrote:

" Each Tuesday evening …we provide an aesthetically pleasing and friendly environment where our guests are served a delicious and nutritious meal with a loving touch. Feast guests are given the opportunity to visit with friends, to make new friends, and frequently, to support each other in grief. It is sometimes only at Feast Incarnate that a person can get relief from the social isolation that can be one of the crippling dimensions of a life with AIDS. Feast Incarnate is useful for information sharing. It has become a vital medium for networking in the fragmentary but intricate support complex upon which many AIDS and HIV sufferers depend. This is a valuable program to the community and, gratifyingly to our congregation. Some two dozen members of University Lutheran find here a powerful opportunity for discipleship."(iv)

The involvement of suburban congregations in Feast Incarnate brought another dimension to the ministry. By interacting with the guests when they came to serve, suddenly the AIDS/HIV community had a face and a personality to these people. Interactions and involvements began to grow. The community of acceptance expanded far beyond what normal day-to-day encounters would have brought about without this program.

Through grants from the SEPA Synod’s Social Ministry Committee and Mission Resource Institute, a newsletter was published focused around Feast Incarnate. The guests named the newsletter "Love on the Menu". It became another vehicle for sharing information between the various participants in the ministry. It included prevention information, nutritional data and recipes, comments from guests, thanks to volunteers, and obituaries of guests who lost their lives. Mission Resource Institute also provided Social Work interns who worked with the guests on various projects, including special holiday celebrations, contests, and discussion groups.

The newsletter was expanded in September, 2000, and renamed "More Than Love on the Menu." The new goal of the newsletter was to "present some personal perspectives on HIV/AIDS, offer opportunities for AIDS advocacy, increase the spiritual focus of the meal, acknowledge volunteers, and provide a forum for the HIV positive to share and request spiritual support."(v) The newsletter was not only distributed to all who participated in the ministry, served and server alike, but it was also mailed to all of the churches in the SEPA Synod. Over 180 congregations became part of the Feast community, learning of our prayer needs, being alerted to the horrifying statistics coming out of the less developed nations, and reading the personal testimonies of people like Eddie, who wrote;

"I am a person living with HIV for the last 13 years. In the beginning when there were limited resources available, I felt very isolated and afraid. As the years progressed, I found myself unattached to the world. It was at that point that I found We the People. It was there that I met other people living with the virus. I became a member and found myself among people who cared. I was lucky enough to be there one year when the kitchen staff needed help over the Christmas holiday in 1996. Since then I have stayed with the crew. It is not easy but I stay. Sometimes it is my own physical stuff and other times it’s the issues of the people who come for services. I can see and feel their pain. So I have had to learn to fix my face in order to put them at ease when they come in to eat. I am sad for my peers who are caught up in the system still using drugs, without homes or in need of psychiatric services. To ease the frustration of constantly being in an atmosphere of hopelessness and helplessness, I began studies at Phila Fight in Project TEACH to become a peer educator. A year into the education process I was accepted at the University of Southern California for a two year fellowship at the African American HIV University. Now I can continue my studies so I won’t have to watch my peers suffer. I can help them by teaching those who are ready to use the available resources to obtain housing, cash assistance, medical benefits, food, temporary shelter, case management and a host of other services. I can be a mentor and hopefully those I teach will find peace in the storm of HIV/AIDS."(vi)

Unfortunately, due to politics in 2001, we lost We The People as a partner in Feast Incarnate. The city of Philadelphia reassigned their contracts to a different organization, which was not interested in continuing to be a part of our ministry. The new groups religious connections were less tolerant to prevention issues and highly focused on abstinence policies. With no warning, all agency support was stopped. The anonymous testing program we hosted biweekly evaporated, along with the test results of several people.

We are firmly convinced that the Holy Spirit holds a special place in her heart for this ministry. Several of the workers who had been a part of We The People continued to come to assist with the ministry. Several members of a neighboring parish appeared out of the blue at that time, and have come faithfully every Tuesday since. When the hospitality meal for the homeless population on Tuesday Evenings (held at another church) was canceled, the food at hand was stretched to feed 110 people.

Today, Feast involves nine Lutheran Congregations, one Disciples of Christ congregation, one African Methodist Episcopal congregation, a local restaurant, the SEPA Synod’s AIDS Awareness Network, service organizations from two Universities. Two of the churches make it part of an urban ministry day for their confirmation classes. The Disciples of Christ team is made up exclusively of Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers. Their oldest team member is 92. She has lost a great-grandson and two neighbors to HIV.

University Lutheran works in many ways to make the AIDS/HIV community part of the parish. Each Tuesday, we begin our announcements with a reminder of our worship schedule for the week, and urge our guests to join us. As part of each week’s table prayer, names of those we’ve lost over the years are remembered. And unfortunately, there have been the memorial services, as well. But it’s the smaller pieces that work to incorporate the living AIDS/HIV community into our midst and restore them to community. For example:

• Through talks about for baptism for their children, we got to know Warren and Jacki. They met with Pastor off and on, while they struggled with life in a temporary living situation for several years. They were not quite ready to give up on Jacki’s Baptist faith background, even though she no longer attended that church. After a long wait, they finally were able to move into a permanent housing situation. A major obstacle: they had no household goods. We were able to contact a local congregation who collected furniture and other household items to assist fire victims re-establish their lives. The only condition was, that there be other people there to help unload the truck. Two of the guest from Feast volunteered. Jacki called later that day. Her joy was uncontrollable. Not only had they received 6 rooms worth of furniture, dishes, and even a TV. Most importantly, they felt part of the process by their work to unload and place the furniture.

• One of the long-term volunteers from We The People was having housing problems. A parishioner who was a research physician initially helped him move his belongings. The two became good friends. When Clarence’s health began to decline, Ed advocated for him in the hospital, meeting with medical staff and communicating with Clarence’s family. 
• "William" one guest, had been fairly convicted of a crime, and served his time and was trying to get his life back on track. We have helped him get his paperwork together to apply for a pardon. 
• Couples counseling in preparation for marriage/ commitment ceremonies has been done for several guests. 
• Once a month, during the meal, we offer prayers for healing, anointing, and laying on of hands. Words of healing and Laying on of hands are also offered monthly during Sunday morning worship. 
• As part of Tuesday evenings, we now conduct Evening Prayer Services at 6:15pm, encouraging guests and servers to worship together. Often guests who stay for Evening Prayer open their hearts and souls in ways, which touch all of the others present. 
• On any given Sunday, 6 to 10 of our visitors at Eucharist are from the Feast community. (our average overall attendance is eighty). Thanks to Feast, we are often joined by members of the transgender community as well. One of our most active members now is in the process of transitioning from male to female, and is well received and supported by the whole congregation. 
• We have been able to shepherd people needing help with substance abuse into participating in the recovery group that meets at the church Monday through Friday. 
• Including those who regularly worship with us on the members photo bulletin board, reinforcing their sense of belonging.

The true goal for this ministry, the actual path to wholeness, is restoration to, and assimilation into community. At University Lutheran Church of the Incarnation, we invoke God’s grace and wisdom, Christ’s forgiveness and compassion, and the Spirit’s faith and guidance to envelope all who are part of this ministry. Please remember us in your prayers.

Respectfully,

Fred Wolfe

Parish Coordinator, Feast Incarnate

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(i) Article entitled "Feast Incarnate", written by Jan Johnson for the November 1988 Eyewitness

(ii) Article from the Spring, 1989 Eyewitness titled " Whom does it serve?" written by Christina Bauers and Purvis Bedenbaugh

(iii) Letter from Charles Harpe, Director of Administration for We the People, dated September 13, 1990.

(iv) Letter from Rev. Jeffery Merkel, dated February 6, 1991

(v) Volume 4, Issue 1 of "More Than Love on the Menu"

(vi) Ibid, article entitled "My Name is Eddie", by Eddie D.